Hello world, welcome to Mind Over Money Mondays. Money, Money Money, Monday! Welcome to Money Mondays! I am Timolin Langin! Thank you all for joining me! We are happy that working people worldwide are reading and reaching out to us about speaking engagements & sending questions. Thank you. Keep them coming & thank you for watching!
Today’s topic comes from our faithful viewer. She asks, Should I help him with his credit? We have tackled similar topics on our YouTube Channel, Mind Over Money with Timolin, titled Your Money and Your Mate.
Before I answer, I just want to say, I believe strongly in investing in and maintaining positive relationships. Even though I am a woman of a certain age, I still know what it’s like to be smitten by love, eyes all bright and bushy tailed: he called me, he smiled at me, he likes me.
In fact, this was just 2 weeks ago…
He was having trouble with his credit too…
Y’all know I am from MS so I am going to, I just have to invoke Big Mama’s wisdom here and take us to the Scriptures.
I am taking you to Mississippi wisdom, so if you have your Bible, turn to Genesis 2:15 .
This is how it reads, “And the Lord God took the man, and put him in the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it!”. It was the man’s responsibility to work and guard the garden!
Adam’s work was that perhaps of the very first scientist in many ways: classifying organisms, giving all living things a name, like the fowl of the air, the beast of the field, and the cattle on a thousand hills! But where was Eve? Welll….mmmmm
It sounds like God gave Adam a job, a career, work before he gave him a woman!
Back to the opening question. Should I help him/her with his credit?
It is not my place to tell you, yes or no, but I would ask you to consider the following, if your answer is yes. These thoughts are for our men as well. We want everyone to have good success!
- Emotional & Financial Harm
It could hurt you emotionally and financially, anytime you loan i.e. give your partner money, pay a bill, etc. You are taking a huge risk with your heart and your wallet. That is money you no longer have in the event of an emergency, nor do you have it to save or invest. In many cases, not all, but in most cases, you will not get the money back.
- Is this the right relationship?
Let’s say you are lucky enough to get the borrowed money back. Is this still the right relationship for you? As a young child, I always wanted to hang out with people who were just not the right fit for me, too old, too young, too fast and Big Mama would say, “I don’t think he or she is your equal.” Is this person your financial equal?
We have all heard the Scripture that tells us: “Do not be unequally yoked.” Generally, we think this verse only means believers should date believers. However, a closer look at this passage reveals how oxen work together which serves as an analogy for us. Scripture suggests like the oxen, the two in relationship are meant to carry the yoke together.
I saw this quote online in Thirst magazine, which puts this thought beautifully in perspective: “Oxen are meant to carry a cart together. If one ox is pulling in one direction a lot more than the other, then the oxen will not be carrying the cart well. They may end up wanting to move in different directions.”
Back to Big Mama’s question, is he or she your equal? Even if the answer is yes, there’s still a chance the relationship may not work out. So what am I saying? I am saying, even when the two carry their own cart so to speak, you sometimes come to the realization that this relationship was not meant to be and yet you’ve helped him or her with their credit in a way that makes you feel funny, to say the least.
Lastly, there are other alternatives. Provide your partner with good financial educational resources like mine and others. Perhaps, you can serve as a money model by demonstrating what good money management looks like.
The best thing to remember in dating situations that paying your partner’s debt is a bad idea. Modeling financial responsibility is a more effective and sustainable gift.
Since we are sharing Scripture today, keep this in mind, 2 people cannot walk together except they agree. We are all a work in progress. I am going to close with advice from a dear friend when it comes to thoughts about relationships and agreement. She says, “None of us are perfect, we all have baggage, just let it be matching!”
Matching bags, even when beautifully worn are a perfect fit, equally yoked!
I hope we did a good job of tackling this question tactfully! We love hearing from you so keep the comments and questions coming. We are here for you so let us know what’s on your mind.
Because we believe in an integral approach to finances, we talk about money management and money matters simultaneously. We also believe our emotions partner with our spending and for true transformation to occur in your money habits, we have to give much consideration to our emotional practices as well. They go hand in hand.
So join us next week at 7:00pm EST, 4:00pm PST on our Facebook Livestream, Mind over Money How to Live like a Millionaire Now.
If you like what you see here, check out other videos on our YouTube channel, Mind Over Money with Timolin. I think you will appreciate the segments called Your Money and Your Mate, where I get real personal. In closing, remember, Financial success is not a gift; it is a Habit!