We are living in perilous times right now! The world is literally changing right before our eyes and working people worldwide are feeling helpless; as fear, doubt, insecurity and anxiety continue to rise.
I am hearing from friends who have lost their jobs, careers! One has received a 25% pay cut; while other friends are posting they’re sad, depressed on social media.
Even in the best of times, marriage and relationships are hard work. Add COVID-19 to the mix, where couples are cooped up while working from home and caring for children who are unable to attend school, you quickly begin to see the toll the pandemic is having on families.
Singles are feeling lonely and socially disconnected as they physically and socially distance at home. I am reading and hearing comments from people who tend to have it all together being transparent about the emotional challenges they’ve been experiencing. No judgment. I have been that girl. I have been the hurting one.
So in today’s live stream, I just want to reach out to people who are hurting. How are you doing? How can we help? How does it feel when we talk about ‘feelings?’ How do we respond to pain? I know this is not an easy subject, nor is it one that the average “financial guru” talks about; particularly in the depth we are going to do so today. We don’t generally respond to pain positively.
Some of us respond by over-eating, over-drinking and of course, overspending. If you’ve been watching, listening or reading the blog for any length of time, you’ve heard me say, “Money is Emotional.” Some of us drink to cope with the issues of life, some of us over eat to escape the challenges of life and some of us shop, shop, shop i.e. use money like a tonic or tranquilizer, to feel a certain way, as I explained in Mind Over Money.
Long before COVID-19, it was my desire for working people worldwide to come together in community to support, share money nuggets, helpful tips like best places to bargain shop for the good stuff in your town, city, country; the message being one of togetherness; “We are not alone” sentiments.
Today’s topic is not sexy, but as I have chatted, listened and heard from friends this last week, it is one I feel like we have to discuss. People are hurting. How do we handle pain? My book, my early life, my reason for being an educator is to help people like myself live like a millionaire now in spite of all the hurts, challenges and difficulties that come our way.
In light of soaring Amazon sales and record profits being made by certain businesses, while we working people worldwide struggle with the challenges of life, I will share my twofold approach to managing money and emotional money matters that may also prove helpful to us who not only over spend, but may also overeat and overindulge in general, when we are ‘in our feelings.’ I was once 211 pounds and can speak authoritatively about the emotional stronghold of overeating.
Here’s a couple of things this emotionally sensitive gal has learned along the way; paradigms that have shifted my behavior for the better and enhanced my ability to increase financial and personal success. I hope they will be helpful for you as well.
First, we bring awareness to the emotion or money matter that’s affecting and fueling us in the moment. Become mindful and aware of what is triggering you is the first step to making real change.
Did you have a fight with your loved one? Are you disappointed you didn’t get the promotion or things just didn’t work out the way you wanted? Instead of pulling out your credit card, stuffing yourself with food, PAUSE! Process your feelings: Are you scared? Are you bored? Are you overly excited? Sometimes, happy things can stimulate us in unhealthy ways.
Respond, attend to these feelings in ways that don’t involve money. No spending. Sinnnng (Sing). Run (Those of you who watch and are friends with me on Facebook know how much I do both). If singing and running are not your things, then do something you like, love for FREE
Become mindful, aware of and admit to the fact that you’re not feeling so good right now. Mindfulness and confession are good for the soul. That’s what many of us are doing on social media today and the feedback is not always positive, if there is any. Expressing vulnerability and being transparent with feelings is scary, uncomfortable for the “sharer” and the listener. That’s alright, but get those feelings up and out.
I use to weigh 211 pounds and had to apply these same techniques though they were quite scary to face. But paying attention to the feeling, the stressors that were leading me to eat ten times more than what my body needed, helped my wallet, waist and overall well-being. I share 40+ tips like these in my book. I like to call them grandmothers’ wisdom.
I remember Big Mama telling me and my siblings, “Never go grocery shopping when you’re hungry.” Today, I can hear her saying “Don’t go to Amazon when you’re “in your feelings.” You know why, why? Because you spend more, more, more….
Secondly, examine your triggers a bit more.
Ask yourself why am I buying this stuff? Am I using money like a tonic or a tranquilizer? Or am I using money like a tool? What do we do with tools? We build things. We create things. We make things.
The Creator created us to create!
I go into greater detail in my book, but just know that awareness of your feelings and mindfulness around money are major, trans-formative steps you can take right now. Take the steps and I believe you will see real good success in how you manage and strategically wield YOUR money tool in any season.
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